Is there a conversation with someone on your team that you keep putting off? You know it needs to happen. But you keep waiting for the right time, hoping the situation will improve on its own or that the conversation will somehow become easier.
The problem is, the right time rarely arrives on its own.
Difficult conversations are part of leadership. And when leaders avoid them, small problems can become bigger ones.
When a conversation might create conflict, hurt someone's feelings, or simply feel uncomfortable, it's easy to convince yourself that waiting will make things easier.
But avoiding the conversation doesn't make the underlying issue disappear.
A missed commitment gets overlooked. A behavior that isn't working continues. A misunderstanding goes unaddressed.
Over time, the issue can start affecting other people on the team.
The longer a leader waits, the more difficult the conversation can feel. And sometimes, avoiding the conversation sends its own message.
Employees may become unclear about expectations, unsure what's really wrong, or wonder why a problem isn't being addressed.
What a leader hopes will prevent tension can actually create more uncertainty and frustration.
Imagine a manager has an employee who consistently misses deadlines.
The manager has noticed the pattern, but each time it happens, there's a reason. So they give the employee another reminder. Then another.
The manager doesn't want to create unnecessary tension, and they hope the situation will improve.
But it doesn't.
Now imagine the manager decides to have the conversation.
Instead of starting with accusations or assumptions, they explain what they've observed. They talk about the impact it's having and give the employee an opportunity to share their perspective.
Maybe there's something the manager didn't know. Perhaps expectations weren't clear. Or maybe the employee needs to take greater responsibility for the situation.
The conversation might still be uncomfortable. But now the issue is out in the open.
Both people have an opportunity to understand what's happening and decide what needs to change.
That's the difference between avoiding a problem and addressing it.
Having a difficult conversation doesn't mean being confrontational. It means being willing to address what's happening while remaining open to the other person's perspective.
Here are three ways leaders can approach these conversations more effectively.
Focus on the specific situation or behavior rather than making assumptions about someone's intentions.
For example, instead of saying, "You don't seem to take deadlines seriously," explain which commitments have been missed and what you've observed.
This gives both people something concrete to discuss.
Help the employee understand why the issue matters.
A missed deadline might affect a colleague's ability to complete their work, delay a project, or create additional pressure for the rest of the team.
Being clear about the impact connects the conversation to the work, rather than making it feel like a personal criticism.
Give the other person an opportunity to explain their perspective. There may be information you don't have, expectations that weren't understood, or challenges that need to be addressed.
Listening doesn't mean avoiding accountability. It means understanding the situation before deciding what needs to happen next.
Once you've explored the issue, be clear about the expectations and what needs to change.
Great leaders don't avoid discomfort. They recognize that some of the most important conversations are also the ones that are hardest to have.
That doesn't mean every difficult conversation needs to be confrontational.
It means being willing to address what's happening, stay curious about the other person's perspective, and be clear about what needs to change.
Avoiding a difficult conversation might make things easier today. But having it can make things better tomorrow.
A question for leaders to consider:
What conversation are you avoiding right now that could make things better if you had it?
Download: 8 Things Great Leaders Do
Great leadership isn’t just about knowing what to do. It’s about how you put it into practice.
Download our free guide, 8 Things Great Leaders Do. It shares insights from Vivo Team’s coaches and eight practical behaviours that can help you strengthen your leadership.
Because when you invest in your people, the results follow.
Is there a conversation with someone on your team that you keep putting off?
You know it needs to happen, but you just keep waiting, waiting for the right time.
The problem is, the right time rarely arrives on its own.
I'm Renée Safrata, and difficult conversations are part of leadership.
But when a conversation might create conflict, you think it might hurt someone's feelings, or it simply feels uncomfortable, it's easy to convince yourself that waiting will make things easier.
But it doesn't.
When leaders avoid difficult conversations, small problems can become bigger ones.
You've seen it.
A missed commitment gets overlooked, a behavior that isn't working continues, a misunderstanding goes unaddressed, and over time, the issue can start to affect other people on the team.
The longer a leader waits, the more difficult the conversation can feel. And sometimes, avoiding the conversation sends its own message.
It can leave employees unclear about expectations, unsure about what's really wrong, or wondering why a problem isn't being addressed.
Imagine a manager who has an employee who consistently misses deadlines.
The manager has noticed the pattern, but each time it happens, there's a reason.
So they give the employee another reminder, and then another.
The manager doesn't want to create unnecessary tension, and they hope that the situation will improve, but it doesn't.
Now imagine the manager decides to have a conversation.
They don't start with accusations or assumptions.
They explain just what they've observed.
Then they talk about the impact it's having, and they give the employee an opportunity to share their perspective.
Maybe there's something the manager didn't know.
Maybe the expectations weren't clear, or maybe the employee needs to take greater responsibility for the situation.
The conversation might still be uncomfortable, but now the issue is out in the open, and both people have the opportunity to understand what's happening and decide what needs to change.
Great leaders don't avoid discomfort.
They recognize that some of the most important conversations are also the ones that are the hardest to have.
That doesn't mean every difficult conversation needs to be confrontational.
It means being willing to address what's happening, staying curious about the other person's perspective, and being clear about what needs to change.
Because avoiding a difficult conversation might make things easier today, but having it can make things better tomorrow.
So, here's a question for you to consider.
What conversations are you avoiding right now that would make things better if you had them?
Great leadership isn't about knowing what to do. It's about how to put it into practice.
So download Vivo Team's free guide, 8 Things Great Leaders Do, in the link below.
It shares insights from Vivo Team's coaches and eight practical behaviors that can help you strengthen your leadership.
Because when you invest in your people, the results will follow.